Funny Insults

• I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
• Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?
• Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
• A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*******
• If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!
• mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh
• Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle
• People like you are the reason I'm on medication.
• Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies
• I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message.
• Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!
• I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
• Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
• I need you...........I want you............To get out of my face
• Damn not you again.......
• Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.
• If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you first.
• I am not anti-social..I just don't like you
• If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!
• Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...
• There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.
• Until you called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.
• If you ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would you say when you got there?
  Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance!
• Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.
• I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!
• Earth is full. Go home.
• If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.
• Hey, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?
• How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...
• Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
• What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...
• I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
• Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?
• Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
• God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.
• Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
• I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.
• Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
• Why don't you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself
• Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone
• How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.
• FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!
• Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.
• When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom! leave a message
• My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!
• Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest!
• I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.
• You know the drill! You leave a message....and I ignore it!
• The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours...
• I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!
• Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.
• You dont know me, you just wish you did.
• Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!
• You have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!